Self-love is arguably the single most important aspect of life, because it inherently expands every area of your life. Very little is possible without self-love, it is a topic of ravenous interest to most people. But you will notice that it is rare to find information that tells you anything more than “self-love is important, you need to love yourself more”. Well, I am here to give you something a little more solid than that! Let’s explore.
Loving yourself is a mysterious quest indeed, it is impossible to boil it down to strict, practical steps which you follow in sequential order (wouldn’t that be nice); rather, it is a lifestyle of meeting your fundamental needs on a consistent basis. Your needs change constantly, you cannot become mechanical in your practice, you must always be self-aware of what you require and do your utmost to supply yourself with it. Allow me to explain.
We have needs on every level of self: Physical, material, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
Each of these areas must be attended to, and that is your first clue.
Each day, you must assess your needs on every level, and you must take action on a moment-to-moment basis to meet these needs. This is why the practice of self-love is so hard to explain and teach, there are infinite variables between different people and circumstances. However, if you have a fundamental understanding then you can navigate your life in a loving way.
Allow me to give you my definition of self-love: “A complete acceptance and simultaneous expansion”. It is the primordial energy of the universe and the undercurrent for every positive emotion. A loving choice will never compromise you, will never have ramifications, only expansion.
Now you have a rudimentary understanding and a definition to ponder.
Allow me to break down each aspect of self and give you some helpful examples:
Meeting your physical needs would be, paying attention to how your body is feeling, nourishing it with healthy food, keeping it hydrated and rested, limiting toxic foods, keeping it strong/mobile/flexible and pain-free with regular exercise.
Meeting your material needs, means managing and manifesting a comfortable amount of money, taking care of your home and vehicle, and being responsible for any other material possessions you might own.
Meeting your mental needs requires that you have strong mental health, mastering your thoughts, stimulating your mind with learning and knowledge in whatever area you are drawn to, daily meditation, taking breaks when you need it and getting good sleep!
Meeting your emotional needs means checking in on your emotions often and keeping them regulated at a high level, and then you must take action on the specific needs that you have. Your subconscious will tell you each day, example: “I need a new challenge!”, or “I need healing”. Listen to that inner voice and consistently take action on what calls to you from within (this could be an internal action such as a positive thought or a mediation, or an external action such as going for a walk or working on your business or relationship). When you do not meet your emotional needs you will feel depressed, you will feel an empty pit from within yourself. The only thing that can fill that pit up is love!
Meeting your spiritual needs means to live your life with divine purpose and to always seek to cultivate a stronger connection with the part of you that is spirit.
Are you doing what you came here to do?
Living your life with a strong, all-consuming purpose? Getting closer with your spiritual side each day?
This is what is required to love yourself on a spiritual level.
Remember not to take random action, you need to take action that is relevant to meet your needs in that specific moment. Example: going for a run is a loving choice, but not when you should be sleeping! Doing a meditation is a loving choice, but not when you need to be working on a project etc.
There is much more to be said about love, but I hope this gives you a better and more practice understanding of how to love yourself!