Life can change on a dime. Every part of mine changed, yet I felt static, because if I moved, then at some level of existence, I was accepting this unwanted change. And so, I felt like life was moving around me, like a raging river moving around a large rock, then tumbling uncontrollably, like rocks washed down the river in a flood.
My suitcase was packed, tickets, and plans carefully laid in place. I had said from the get-go that I was not doing Christmas. Last year, Christmas was painful enough, wondering if it would be our last, and still not believing that was even possible.